Why I need aphrodite this valentine’s Day (and maybe you do too)…
It’s no secret that we as humans love to romanticize things as a coping mechanism, a practice that inherently feels connected to Aphrodite, greek goddess of love, desire, and beauty. While romanticization can be spoken with a negative connotation, I think a mindful approach to seeing the beauty in everyday life can act as a devotion towards Aphrodite. With the exception of harmful instances (and I am trusting you, reader, to know these nuances), inviting Aphrodite’s gaze can add a great deal of satisfaction to one’s life as long as you don’t lose your head to these fantasies.
Romanticizing life with intention is something I want to focus on doing more this year. I want to find more appreciation in the everyday and ways to create magic within the subtleties of life. As witches, the word intention is this universal key that we can hold up to any lock. When we focus on the intention of creating fulfilment and happiness within our day to day, we could consider that as an act of self love. Journaling, for example, allows us a moment to reconnect with ourselves. Choosing a specific candle depending on the weather, the mood, and spending some moments to watch the flickering flame allows us to slow down and ground ourselves. Making our favorite cup of tea and turning towards the window instead of the tv points us back to our natural roots. None of these examples inherently sound like the modern day portrayal of self love packaged in bath bombs, spa days, and expensive skin care. While all of these could certainly play a role, I don’t think they should be our idea of self love. Any action that is for the betterment of your mental or physical health, no matter how big or small, is inherently self love. It is mindfully and intentionally choosing yourself. And by doing so, by infusing our existence and practices with enchantment and seeking beauty, we can embody Aphrodite’s energy, grace, and strength.
As a healing people pleaser, I am learning another act: how to use the word no (which, while only one syllable, always eludes my lips). If you’re a follower of Aphrodite, you should know that she would fight for your health and happiness. In whatever way that your spirituality manifests, Aphrodite goes to war for you– it is waged against our own negative thoughts, people-pleasing, and internalized unworthiness. This is where we meet Aphrodite Areia: “the Warlike”. This epithet reminds us that love is not always passive or soft, but can be backed with a fierceness to protect what is sacred. To go to war for yourself– by setting boundaries, protecting your energy, and saying no– is possibly the highest act of devotion to Aphrodite’s core commandment: to love, starting with one’s self.
With my disabilities and wavering energy, I am slowly learning that I have to start putting myself first. I have to ask what my limits are each day, as they can change and that’s okay. I have to be honest with myself so I can be honest with others, for over promising leads to over working, which is a recipe for exhaustion and unhappiness. Setting up false expectations that you have to continually chase to prove yourself to others is unhealthy, and it’s certainly not love. Know that your energy is precious and sacred, and must be protected. “Go to war” for yourself. Intentionally choose yourself.
By doing this, my dearest coven, we establish power within ourselves. We do not need to seek external validation or love when we can already find it within. We can protect ourselves from toxic relationships. It is okay if you still recognize loneliness, we can not fight our human emotions. But don’t let them drive you towards desperation. Keep your inner flame strong and you will attract those who will protect it alongside you.
So no matter where your love life finds itself this Valentine’s Day, just remember: Aphrodite is beside you if you so wish it. She is the flicker of your candle, the strength of your “no,” and the resolution in choosing yourself. This February, invite her into your space– not for the purpose of finding a lover, but as the divine source of love itself– to show you your own worth.
